Tips for New Parents

• Remain Calm, count to ten, and most importantly, and don’t lose your temper.
• Learn the child’s native language. (This was invaluable.)
• Remember your child is scared. Try to find ways to reassure and comfort him.
• Don’t self diagnose or assume your child has a medical condition, developmental or behavioral disorder based on a short period of time together. If a condition continues or worsens, seek help as needed.
• If your child has developmental delays, get him involved early intervention services ASAP. Services include child development center programs, early intervention, English as a second language (ESL), speech, physical and occupational therapy, etc.
• Find a post adoption support organization.
• Use simple attachment play.
• Pick your child up when he cries. If he has a minor injury, comfort first: ask questions later.
• Establish a routine.
• Feed them as often as they are hungry.
• Try to identify and remove causes of anxiety.

Don’t forget to…
• Apply for a new birth certificate and social security card for your child
• Add your child to your health and life insurance
• Be your child’s best advocate. Take advantage of available financial & medical subsidies, tax credits, reimbursements, & other post adoption services.

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
The other you call mother.

Two different lives
Shaped to make yours one,
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.

The first gave you life,
And the second taught you to live it.
And the first gave you a need for love,
And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality.
The other gave you a name.
One gave you the seeds of talent,
The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.

One gave you up,
It was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child,
And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,
The age old question through the years.
Heredity or environment, Which are you a product of?

Neither, my Darling, Neither,
Just two different kinds of love.

Author Unknown

Easter Traditions in Russia

Easter egg decoration is an important part of Easter traditions in Russia. The predominant color for dyeing eggs is red. The traditional Pysanky egg craft found in Ukraine, and other Eastern European Countries is thousands of years old.  Patterns are are drawn on the egg with wax, which protects the covered areas from the dye that is applied. By repeating the process a multi-colored pattern is built up. The symbols and colors are rich in meaning.

 

Another integral aspect of Easter celebrations in Russia is the family Easter dinner following the worship services. The Easter dinner is a sumptuous feast, in which the entire congregation celebrates together. Among other delicacies, Russian people traditionally bake Easter cakes, known as Kulich [in Russian кулич meaning "Easter cake"]  

The Kulich preparation starts several days before Easter. Kulich can contain candied fruit, almonds, and raisins, and is prepared like bread. When it is done, it is decorated with white frosting drizzled down the sides. On the side, spelled out in pieces of candied fruit, are the letters XB, representing the Cyrillic letters for "Christos voskres" or "Christ is risen."

A simple recipe for Kulich

1 cup of milk
1 cup of sour-cream
1 cup of eggs
1 cup of sugar
2 ounces of yeast
1 cup raisins
Flour - as much as it takes to make thick elastic dough
Optional - (lemon peel, blanched almonds, candied fruits, dark rum,1 tsp.vanilla)

Mix all the ingredients well in a large bowl. Fill as many coffee can type forms with greased sides as you want to have cakes, but make them only a third full to allow for expansion. Let the third full coffee cans sit for 45 minuets in warm area covered with clean cloth. Then bake up to an hour at around 300 - 350 degrees or about until golden brown and a test knife or toothpick comes out clean not wet.Icing2 cups powdered sugar
4 tbsp. cold water
2 tsp. lemon juice

Mix well in bowl and dribble down the top and sides of the cooled cake or pie after removal from coffee can container.

If your Birthmother was here to see you

As my oldest child prepares for confirmation, one of the activities on the confirmation retreat was a quiet time of reflection; where you read “love letters” written by friends and family.

Lately, she has talked a lot about her birthmother. Being adopted from Russia makes it almost impossible for any form of communication, but I really felt that her birthmother needed to be included. I ended up writing two letters to Callie: one that told her all the things I wanted say to her, and a second one where I tried to speak on her birthmother’s behalf. 

Dear Lubov,

If your birthmother: Tatyana was her to see you,

she would be so very proud of you.

She would be happy to know that you have become a strong, amazing young women. To know that perhaps you have her hair, her eyes, or dimples when you smile.

Seeing how beautiful you are would make her smile with pride. 

She would love to watch you dance and see how graceful you look on stage and to know that you have her talent. It would bring her great joy to know that you have the opportunity to be a great dancer- if you work hard.

She would say do your homework, mind your mom and dad, clean your room, eat your vegetables, and all those other things that Mom’s say to their children. 

She would want you to be happy with your life in America, but most of all, it would make her heart happy to know that you are loved by so many people; your family.

She would smile and maybe we would see her dimples. 

Maslenitsa: Russian Pancake Week

Maslenitsa 2012
When: 20th February - 26th of February, 2012 

Maslenitsa: Shrovetide, Butter Week, Cheesfare Week or Russian Pancake Week

The Maslenitsa festival signals the end of winter and the coming of spring.  It is also part of the pre-Lenten celebrations, leading up to the time of fasting when in the Orthodox tradition, meat and dairy (butter, eggs, milk) would be forbidden. 

The most characteristic food of Maslenitsa is blini- Russian pancakes. They symbolize the sun and often served round and golden. They are made from the rich foods allowed before the start of lent. Blini are prepared hundreds of ways.  Made buckwheat flour, white flour, or cornmeal,  Blini are given to friends and family.  They may be sweet or savory and are topped with caviar, mushrooms, jam, sour cream, and lots of butter. Meat filled Blini, are rolled and folded often with beef and mushroom fillings.  One of the best meals I ate in Russia was meat filled Blinis.

Maslenitsa

http://russiapedia.rt.com/of-russian-origin/maslenitsa/

Blini Pancake

http://tasterussian.com/blini-pancake.html

Recipe for Russian Blini with Beef or Mushrooms

http://www.russianseason.net/index.php/2009/10/russian-blini-with-beef-or-mushrooms/ 

The Russian Word for Red

The variety of colors for traditional Russian costumes display the love of beauty and ethnic diversity. These costumes are not only beautiful, there are also convenient in wearing because they were created for work as well. Festive clothes and everyday clothes, married woman's and young girl's clothes differed only for details, decoration, color gamut. Red fabric cloth was considered to be the nicest one, and, by the way, the Russian word "beautiful" comes from the word "krasny", the Russian word for "red".

A folk costume is in harmony with the bright interior of the peasant house and country landscapes. It's in tune with the northern round-dance. Folk costume manifests folk art and conveys the spirit of the past and old bright culture of Russia." 

Adoption easier than childbirth?

Adoption easier than childbirth? Who came up with that bright idea?  Shortly after the adoption of our first child, and the second time a dear friend suggested that adoption had been easier, I told my husband; be prepared, next time I go postal. There was no next time.  I think that my husband, staged an intervention. After all there is nothing easy about infertility or adoption.

That is unless you call getting almost 300 injections spread over 4 unsuccessful IVF sessions easy.  Did I mention 4 unsuccessful rounds of IVF.  An insightful friend once described an unsuccessful IVF as the closest thing to a miscarriage a woman can have. I concur.

If that wasn’t enough, we also lost a child that we were in the process of adopting from Russia. This was not a nameless faceless child, but one that we had pictures and video of. She had a name, a nursery, clothes, toys, and Mommy bought a minivan.  Adoptive parents go through the same pre-attachment process that pregnant, expectant parents go though. Losing her was like a death in the family- the death of a child; and it was slow and painful having been dragged out for months.

I know with absolute certainty that the child (children) we adopted, is the one we were suppose to adopt, but that knowledge offers little solace to the grief we experienced, and that I still experience; when like today, I allow it to come out of the box, that I keep it in. Between adoption 1 and 2, we had a Domestic adoption go bad, and the birthmother we were matched with was convicted on felony fraud. Adoption fraud: a crime which can only describe as callous and cruel.

Through it all, I remain the forever optimist, (some days I might describe it as more “what doesn’t; kill you makes you stronger”) knowing that everything happens for a reason even we don’t; know what that is at the time.  This experience gave me a unique insight into the complexities of adoption and while it’s not always easy, it is definitely worth it.