Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Why Choose Beacon House's Domestic Adoption Program?

  1. We work with a limited of number of families at a time.
  2. The No Wait List policy- Every family whose criteria matches is eligible to be matched with a potential adoption match.
  3. Families are eligible to be Matched once their contracts are executed. 
  4. Most families complete their adoptions in 1-2 years, 
  5. 99% of the children we place are infants. 
  6. In-house recruitment of Birthmothers.  
  7. Each Birthmother assigned a caseworker responsible for seeing to her needs.
  8. Birthmothers are provided with extensive counseling.
  9. Many of our Birthmothers are refereed to us by other Birthmothers.
  10. Experienced with US Adoption  Law. 
  11. Experienced staff that is able to provide for Birthmother's needs as well as that of the Adoptive Families.
  12. More than 25 years of Service.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Are You Ready to Adopt?

At some point, couples experiencing infertility who want to move forward towards having a family will have to bridge the gap from infertility to adoption by acknowledging and accepting infertility. Couples will have to confront the grief and loss associated with infertility. Resolution prior to adoption is necessary. It provides a strong foundation for couples to become emotionally and physically healthier and ready to bond and attach to a child. 

That may not be an easy process, and will necessitate a change in the thinking process: moving from the means to an end.  This requires couples to move away from the idea of having a biological child as the way to become parents to focusing on the end result; which is still being a parent, but by the use of a different means: by adoption.

Indicators that a couple may be ready to move forward with adoption:
  • Have exhausted viable, medical options without success.
  • No longer have the desire to pursue medical assistance.
  • Feelings of relief when discontinuing or thinking about stopping attempts to conceive.
  • The realization that actually being a parent is more important than how they became parents.
  • Spending more time talking about adoption.
  • Noticing more or seeking out adoptive families.
  • The belief that God is calling them to adopt.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Bonding with Baby

Bonding an attachment are a natural part of the parent /child relationship.  The ordinary, daily necessary care that we give our baby facilitates this vital process. Bonding occurs when consistently meeting your babies’ needs. By responding immediately to your baby when he is distressed, you build trust. Overtime he will understand that you will meet his needs. Over time you’ll get to know the difference between his cries.

Hold and cuddle your baby as much as possible during the day. When possible (or necessary) use a front facing baby carrier or sling. When cuddling with baby, optimize skin to skin contact and stroke your baby.  Take a baby massage class to help learn ways to touch baby and strengthen your bond. 

When holding your baby, especially when she is feeding, look into her eyes, smile, and talk to her. Babies love their Mom’s voice, even when if can not carry a tune. Talk to your baby throughout the day. This stimulates her brain, and sets the stage for learning. The attachment between you and baby is a vital part of growth, development and your child’s general sense of well-being. 

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Supporting Your Child's Dreams

It’s a fine line between helping your child pursue his dreams, versus helping them understand the reality of the situation, or in my son’s words “crushing his dreams.” At the time of this conversation my then eleven-year-old who weighed 63 pounds with a growth trajectory of 5’6 or 5’7. He was quite incensed at my audacity to suggest that his dream of paying college football in the SEC was highly doubtful.

Yes, he sometimes has grandiose ideas because we have taught him that hard work and perseverance pay off. Unfortunately, sometimes reality bites. Before my son retired from Competitive Gymnastics, in pursuit of other sports. his last lackluster gymnastics season, was compounded by a knee injury the day before State Championships. Expecting a gold medal (even without the knee injury ) was futile. Explaining that to a sensitive child, who has self confidence issues, is not an easy thing. You have to tread lightly in order to support their goals or risk setting them up for failure.

This season, as a high school freshman, my son has started as a Safety on the C Team. Next up he has wrestling season, and then Lax.  He has proven himself to be a highly conditioned, great little athlete. Don't tell him I said so, but sometimes Mom is wrong.  Who knows, maybe I will be wrong about the SEC too.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Things that Go Bump in the Night

     Halloween is supposed to be a fun fall holiday, but for kids who are experiencing it for the first time it can be scary and overwhelming. Some children have never been trick or treating or never seen someone dressed in a werewolf costume or covered in fake blood. For some, it may seem that Baba Yaga: the stuff of nightmares has come to life. 

What Can you do to Help Kids Prepare for Halloween?

 • When you read seasonal books together, you get the added bonus of snuggling up with your child on the sofa.

• Check out the Halloween department in your local Target or Walmart- Allow your child to touch and see that these items are not real. Be sure to follow his lead and leave the area if necessary. 

• Watch kid friendly Halloween shows or movies like It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. Visit a pumpkin patch and carve a pumpkin. Pulling out the gooey insides is a great sensory rich experience. 

• Let kids choose their Halloween costume. (Each year my daughters gets a bit scarier, and she has used this as a way to conquer her fear. ) 

• Have a special Halloween dinner, Be creative, think length wise-sliced hotdogs for worms, buy special items like ghost chips or Halloween shaped pasta. Pressed for time try a frozen Pizza and top with cheese squares cut into Halloween shapes.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Taking Flight

From War Orphan, to International Adoptee, to becoming a Prima Ballerina: Taking Flight  is “the extraordinary memoir of Michaela DePrince, a young dancer who escaped war-torn Sierra Leone for the rarefied heights of American ballet.” A must read “ for every young dancer and those who dream of transcending their circumstances.”

“A story of great courage that all women—young and old—should read.” —Tina Brown

Sunday, October 12, 2014

White Dresses

Recently we have had a rash of weddings to go to.  The majority of these have been weddings of our friend’s children.  Most recently the flower girl- all grown up and a Pediatric Neurologist, from my own wedding became engaged, and I was able to sneak a peek at the wedding dress.   To top it off, last night, my high school aged daughter attended her first wedding without us.  Accompanying her boyfriend to a family wedding, she came home with tales of first dances and garters being thrown, while visions of white dresses danced in head.

And I too dream of white dresses: hoping that as she enters adulthood, that one day, she will marry the man of her dreams. It is my hope that, that special someone is able to love her for all her idiosyncrasies, and challenges that many internationally adopted children deal with.  All the while praying that she gets the happily ever after that she deserves. 

But for today, she’s still my little girl, and we've still got a few more years of Prom and Homecoming dresses to shop for before we start shopping for the white one; and that’s too soon for me.