Tuesday, September 16, 2014

5 Common Myths about Domestic Adoption

Myth- It takes years to complete a domestic adoption.
Reality- The average time frame to complete a Domestic Adoption is 1-2 years.

Myth- Women who place children for adoption, have abandoned their child, and do so, due to selfish reasons. 
Reality-Most Birthmother’s choose adoption because they want, what they believe, is the best thing for there child. For most this is a heart wrenching decision.

Myth- If I adopt domestically, the birthparents might change their mind after the adoption is finalized.
Reality- It is estimated that less than one percent of Domestic adoptions are legally contested after the relinquishment of parental rights. Despite media sensationalism of a few high profile cases, an overturned adoption is extremely rare. 

Myth- Most birthparents are teens gone wild.
Reality- The majority of birthparents are in their twenties and thirties. Many may already have a child, and additional children would be a hardship for the family.

Myth- There are few babies available for adoption.
Reality- Each year there are over 20,000 infants placed for adoption in the Untied States. 

Saturday, September 13, 2014

No, No Bad Toddler

Is your toddler driving you crazy? Is he in the middle of the terrible twos? Is it chaos when you drop him off at Pre-school and he screams for Mommy? Have you asked him to pick up a toy and he looked you square in the face and said no?

If so, don’t despair, these are actually all good signs of developmental progress. Mood swings and tantrums are typical in most toddlers. Toddlers are easy frustrated because they don’t; have the language skills to verbalize there needs, or wants.

These “troublesome” phases are actually are important phases of a child’s development, and they wont; last forever. The good news is that most children outgrow them by age 3 or 4.

How To Tackle the "Terrible Twos"

Friday, September 12, 2014

The Connected Child

“Written by two research psychologists specializing in adoption and attachment, The Connected Child will help you: Build bonds of affection and trust with your adopted child -- Effectively deal with any learning or behavioral disorders --Discipline your child with love without making him or her feel threatened."

“Dr. Karyn Purvis’ resources are unique in bringing help and healing to children touched by adoption and foster care. She has a special and effective way of bringing compassion to the children by equipping parents with tangible and practical methods to create stronger bonds and more nurturing relationships and connections with their children. Amongst the many challenges of adoption, Karyn brings hope – empowering adoptive families to thrive!”

Andy Lehman – Vice President, Lifesong for Orphans and Board Member, 
Christian Alliance for Orphans

The Connected Child by Dr. Karyn Purvis, Ph.D,  Director of the Institute of Child Development at Texas Christian University, with David R. Cross, Ph.D and Wendy Lyons Sunshine.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

How Long Does It Take to Adopt Domestically?

Chances are that if you have started discussing adoption with friends and family, you've already been told many tale tales, myths and lifetime movie plots.  The most common misconception about Domestic Adoption is the wait time.  Lay people often mistakenly believe that it takes years to adopt domestically.  Most are surprised to learn that most families successfully adopt within two years of beginning the adoption process.

While there are many factors than can affect wait time: how long it takes to get matched, and how far along the pregnancy is, are the two most common.  Families who have fewer restrictions can navigate the adoption process faster than families who have very limited criteria for their adoption match. Criteria that may effect wait time:

  1. Gender Selection- Limiting the sex of the child you wish to adopt will increase wait times. Furthermore, if sex of the baby is “known” there is no guarantee of accuracy of these tests.
  2. Race- Do you wish to adopt a child of the same race or are you open to a Transracial Adoption. 
  3. Type of adoption- Closed, versus Semi-Open
  4. Budget- An adoption budget needs to include, agency fees, birthmothers expenses, travel, and possibly attorney fees.
  5. Geographical or travel restrictions may limit your ability to pursue an adoption. 

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Semi-Open Adoption and Birthparents

The degree of openness in a semi-open adoption is pre-determined and agreed upon by both the birthparents and adoptive parents. There are a number of advantages to semi-open adoption for Birthparents.

Birthparents may have some degree of control, during the matching process. Birthparents are able to review a ProfileBook, and possibly interview prospective adoptive parents. Birthparents are able to choose the adoptive parents. Communication may take place through the agency or via telephone communication.  The sharing of non-identifying information provides a sense of privacy to the birthparents.

Communication, as predetermined prior to placement between the adoptive parents and birthparents may include: photographs, letters, or phone calls, and more. This communication can assist birthparents in improved mourning, or lesson guilt that they may experience after placement. It may provide birthparents with a better overall sense of security of the well-being of the adopted child. 

Friday, September 5, 2014

Semi-Open Adoption and the Adoptive Parent.

With semi-open adoption there are a number of advantages for all members of the adoption tirade: birth parents, adoptive parents, and the adopted child.  For the adoptive parents, benefits may include access to background information on the child’s birth parents: social, educational, and health history.

In semi-open adoption it may also be possible to maintain contact with the Birth Family after the adoption is finalized. While the degrees of openness will vary based upon a pre-determined adoption plan, adoptive families may be able to request additional medical history/information should the need arise.

Adoptive parents may have an increased since of confidence regarding birth parent intentions or goals. This more clearly defined arrangement may make each party’s role easier to manage and maintain. Additionally, adoptive parents who were chosen by their child’s birthparents, may have an increased sense of confidence regarding their parental roles and abilities.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Semi-Open Adoption and the Adopted Child.

Each child’s experience with semi open adoption will vary.  These variables include the degree of openness, the ability to maintain communication, and the willingness of the adult parties to honor their commitments, to name a few. Advantages that a semi-open adoption may provide to an adopted child may include:  

  • Communication with birth families
  • No birth parent/family search
  • The child may know and understand some of the reasons for his adoption.
  • Greater sense of self/ identity
  • The child can answer the fundamental question of “Who am I?”
  • May prevent sense of abandonment
  • Connection with Cultural heritage
  • Available medical history
  • Access to birth records