There is an ongoing debate on punishing children .... that for the most part, will never cease. The interesting part becomes when someone introduces a new concept. Do we listen and evaluate, or throw it out the window due to the fact we don't personally have a conceptual grid for the idea, so it must be ridiculous. Well, new idea's are just what you will get with Danny Silk's, Loving Your Kids on Purpose [http://lovingonpurpose.com/].
He points out that having a spirit of gentleness is a key factor. It's not about punishment. The moment you judge, you introduce a punisher. Our job isn't to run their life, but to call them higher, to encourage them step up to the line and live their life. There is no control in the spirit of gentleness.
We need to consider that control & punishment [pain and suffering inflicted by the parents] attacks the love. It attacks the safe place; it creates a culture none of us want to live in. We become afraid of confrontation, confrontation becomes a bad thing. It doesn't teach us responsibility or strengthen our relationship, and produces people that do not understand how to fully communicate to those who are closest.
For adopted families building the love and ensuring safety on every level for the children and whole family is imperative. It nurtures in them irreplaceable characteristics that enable them to develop into emotionally healthy adults ready to live life, embrace freedom, and change the world.