A tongue and cheek look at the age old comment-that actually can get pretty old.
"Just relax, you'll get pregnant."
Really? All the relaxation techniques in the world aren't going to relieve, my hopped up on fertility drugs, too much testosterone, stress induced, cortisol producing body.
To top it off, all the above contribute to weight gain, especially in the mid tummy area, so we now add insult to injury- they make me look -without actually being pregnant.
That's right; baby shower avoider that I am- now: every time I gravitate to the baby aisle, burst out in tears unexpectedly or I look wistfully at someone else's baby, stranger's ask the dreaded questions: "Are you pregnant?" or better yet- "When are you due?"
Do you think a jury of my peers- other infertility challenged Mom's to be - would convict me of murder if I throttled the salesgirl, or ran over someone with my shopping cart?
But hey, let's just relax. While I do momentarily envision tropical islands and Pina Coladas, with my luck it would end up that time of the month. My husband thinks I have PPMS/ Perpetual PMS and I probably couldn't find a swimsuit to fit anyway!