forty percent of all children adopted are toddlers between the ages of one and
four. Adopting a toddler is not the same as adopting an infant or newborn. Parenting techniques will be different
depending on whether you adopt a younger or older toddler. His life experience
and developmental level; not chronological age, will determine what strategies
work best for him.
Children; who have missed important
developmental stages, may respond faster to parents and establish stronger
bonds for forming attachment, when regression techniques such as bottle feeding
a toddler who can drink from a cup are used. Children may need to be taught to
play, eat properly, or to relax.
Many toddlers who have spent time in an
institutional setting will have developmental delays, fine or gross motor skill
delays, or emotional or social delays. Speech delays are the most common. A widely accepted calculation used to
estimate developmental delays for children in orphanages is a one month delay
for every three to four months in an orphanage. Using this equation, a
36-month-old child may be at the developmental equivalent of 24- 27-month-old.
Most parents report that during the child’s first year in their new home that
they experience catch up growth, improved coordination and cognitive
Parenting Tips for Toddlers
1. Acknowledge that early days
together can be very frustrating, keep temper in check.
2. For older toddlers, learning
simple phrases in the child’s language can be very beneficial.
3. Determine causes of anxiety.
Something easily overlooked such as a doll with eyes that don’t close, monster
toys, or even buttons
4. Snuggle and hold often. If they are hug resistant, start slow with
simple non-threatening moves, while you establish trust.
5. Don’t confuse transitional
issues with attachment disorder.
6. Join a post adoption support
7. Use natural consequences and
attachment parenting techniques.
8. Don’t leave your child to
“cry it out” When he is upset, he needs to be comforted.
9. Establishing a daily routine
will help your child feel more secure.
10. Feed when hungry. For children
with food insecurities, try leaving healthy snacks in a convenient and easy to
11. Use time in, not time out.
12. Interact and spend as much
time with your child as possible. Limit television and avoid solitary
Labels: adjusting, Adoption 101, adoption transition, bonding, international adoption, Parenting, Toddler Adoption