Being
adopted can create many feelings of being different. An adopted child may look
differently than their adopted parents or they may be a different race or
culture. It is important that differences (real or perceived) be
addressed by the adoptive family in a positive way.
Adopted Children:
- Need to be assured that they
are worthy
- Feelings of dual heritage, both
biological and adoptive need to be validated.
- Children need to understand
that while adoption is wonderful, that it also involves loss and grief.
- Children need reassurance that
their birth parent's decision to adopt was not about them.
- Need to understand that
adoption is an adult decision.
- Children need permission to
express their feelings about the adoption.
- Children need to deal with
their feelings of rejection and that absence doesn't mean
abandonment.
- Adoptive parents need to be
emotionally healthy role models.
- Children need to hear their
parents discuss their feelings about adoption.
- Adoptees must be able to grieve
their losses
- Attachment is imperative: children
must learn to give and receive love
Adoption
involves loss. All members of the adoption triade are affected. Birth parents
experience the loss of a biological child. Adoptive parents may experience infertility
and the loss having a biological child and the biological child may experience
loss of birth parents, siblings, extended family, culture or country.
Grief
is a normal and natural response to loss. Working through grief will assist you
and your child In gaining acceptance and understanding. It will allow your
relationship to be healthier and stronger.
Labels: Adoptees, Adoption Awareness, Attachment, bonding, Cultural Identity, Family, Kids and Teens, Parenting, Parenting Teens, School Age Children